"Sit like that; you need to project your image at all times." I don't know if I can do this," I wailed, "it's just too hard. Girls learn this from the time they can walk. You expect me to get all of this, and the mannerisms, the voice and the look in just two weeks. It just won't happen." Of course it will. OK, you may not be perfect for the first show, but we'll get you there, and anyway, you don't have to become a finalist at the first event. In fact it would probably be better for the investigation if you didn't make it, otherwise you would have no need to attend the other shows."She had a point, and I was grateful for the reminder about my job. I had forgotten the reason why I was doing all this, the changes to my psyche, the changes to my orientation. The whole thing had driven the simple detective work out of my mind."OK, you're right," I said, "I don't need to get it perfect, just passable."We spent the rest of the day on my movement and my body positions when moving and at. But I thought maybe that you had thosemannerisms because it was just us and that maybe you were picking up onmy habits because you had no one else to model after." So I stood like a girl," I did my best to mock offense."It was more than that, it was also the way you would cry at movies orpout or a dozen other things. I just didn't know that on the inside youwere having such a conflict. I'm sorry. If I would've known about how youfelt about yourself on the inside, maybe I wouldn't have tried to correctyou so sternly. I just wanted you to grow up being the best you that youcould be." You have nothing to be sorry for. We did the best we could." I know you told me the name you picked out. What was it again, Kathy?" Katie," I said softly"That's right, so close to your other Aunt's name. You could've pickedsomething closer to Rosalie, you know?" I picked Katie because it started with a K and so does Keith." It doesn't matter, Katie, it's your name, and who am I to judge."The tears streamed.
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